Existence  - Abbi Glines I'm calling it: BULLSHIT.

4.01 stars???


This book was awful. Completely awful.

The writing sounded like a tween took a part of a dream that lasted three minutes and tried to spin it into a book. Then some really awful publisher, the kind that secretly hates literacy, published it in its unedited, repetitious glory.

Also the book mostly only uses two sassytime adjectives: growl and shiver. As in, "He growled" and "I shivered". No, lie. I wouldn't lie to you like that.

Lets start with our protagonist Pagan because really no one else matters:

She is the worst kind of selfish bitch. The story begins with her being judgmental to the hot kid because well, he's hot, duh. He then melts her super mature exterior and she starts to date him. Then, then, watch closely now, she proceeds to squat over his super hot self and rain the worst kind of super-D-duper, molten lava, shit all over him for the remainder of the book.

She is manipulative. She is a liar. She is so shallow she's basically non existent. She has the typical YA disease of the Me-Me's. Exhibit A: While she was exhibiting profoundly annoying behavior, from pages 15 to 162, she would say things like "I feel bad" but she really fucking did not because she just kept on keeping on. Exhibit B: Everything in her world was "Me". " I can't live without him!!", " My heart has a hole in it", "I don't care who I hurt to get/keep him!", "I don't love this kid that loves me, treats me so well, takes on guilt because he thinks he's causing my shitty behavior when he's not but I'm going to use him for comfort" And that my friends was the worst one. Exhibit C: She does something she thinks is soooooooooo romantically "sacrificial" but it's really just her not being to wrap her immature mind around anything past the space that is two inches in front of her nose. Disgusting.

Leif: What was the point of Leif? Was it just so Abbikins could stretch this wretch of material not fit to wipe my ass into three or more books? Because that's what I'm smelling. You don't get to write a lovely character such as Leif, make him the punching bag all book long and then dum-dum-dum leave a "cliffhanger" that's supposed to, what, excuse Pagans shit-tastic behavior?? No sell. No goddamn sell, That girl was straight up asshole and you know it.

Dank: WHAT? For starters what in Sam Hill is a Dank? It sounds like it smells wet. I.e.: The rain sure is bringing out a dank smell. See? It doesn't sound like it smells good.

What was the point of that part close to the end? You know what I'm talking about, Peggy Ann. Oh, you know. Was it so the author could reinforce that we were in fact supposed to like the protagonist? We were supposed to remember the qualities about her that we long since forgot when she went super C-U-Next-Tuesday? Again, no sell.

All in All: Boo. Super Boo. The writing was awful and Pagan ruined everything.

P.S. People who live on farms have freckles, buck teeth, speak unintelligently and have stringy hair. #Truth. I was unaware that that was widely known but as they say: you learn something new everyday.